The Sad Truth about Amazon Reviews: Observations of a Book Reviewer

Many book reviews on the Amazon platform are not genuine. This is a sad fact the average Amazon shopper may not realise. Dozens of five star reviews will often magically appear weeks before the release of an A-list author’s book, regardless of its quality. There has also stories of sockpuppets, rival authors giving one star reviews on books that compete within their genre. Authors will also create fake accounts to sockpuppet five stars upon their own work.

The Problem of Bogus Reviews

Amazon has tried to crack down on bogus reviews via algorithms that detect connections between the author and the reviewer, which might be the IP address of the computer, a home address or if there has been communications between reviewer and author online. For any of these reasons, reviews will disappear, but sadly, the review system on Amazon remains badly flawed.

The Stakes of Being a Vine Reviewer

Vine reviewers and highly-ranked reviewers have a lot at stake. Helpful votes will enhance and unhelpful votes will mar. Consider that a positive review is more likely to receive helpful votes than a negative review. Getting unhelpful votes will lower the reviewer’s score. For this reason, a reviewer that goes round giving four and five star reviews all the time is more likely get lots of helpful votes. Valued reviewers will also steer clear of controversial books or books they dislike, causing the posting of a ‘correct’ rather than an ‘honest’ review. Big publishers will give away hundreds of free books to the ‘correct’ reviewers, and if any of them don’t like the book, the review will not be published.

Popular Negative Reviews on Amazon

There are exceptions to this rule, for instance the ‘worst book ever written’ (I won’t say what the book is, but look it up) where people in their droves voted up the negative review. And on that matter, helpful votes are also given to a review simply for being funny.

Having produced books since 2006 have I learned one simple truth about Amazon. Your average honest and humble book lover simply will not leave book reviews. They just don’t want to – and I can’t really blame them. Book lovers like to read. Writing is a different matter. I have sold thousands of books. I’ve received my share of one-star potshots from rival authors and unfair reviews, but only a small amount are genuine reviews. In fact, I have received very few reviews overall. This is why I am always suspicious of a book tailed with dozens of book reviews weeks on its release.

Marketing a Poor Book Breed Success

This is the effectiveness of marketing prowess of huge book publishers. Even if the book is very poor, so long as it is backed by sponsors and those with a vested interest and those who receive freebies for being a ‘valued’ reviewer, it will get sales and reviews. I have yet to see a book published by the Big Five without a rack of reviews within a week or so of its release.

How to Tell if a Book is Any Good

The best way to determine if a book is any good or not is not to take Amazon at face value, but look at other sites. Some might consider Goodreads. Goodreads is owned by Amazon, and unlike its main platform, Amazon will not remove reviews or ratings there but it is very easy to set up several accounts and leave yourself lots of reviews. Goodreads is a system begging to be abused.

Platforms of lower caliber that have nothing to gain and nothing to lose are worth looking at. This is why I will often surf other sites for honest reviews. These include Barnes & Noble, Ibooks, Kobo, discussion threads, book review blogs or even Google itself.

When a Book Review is not a Book Review?

When it is posted on Amazon - boom boom. No, but seriously...

When a platform becomes competitive, when there is something to win or lose, when someone’s livelihood becomes dependent upon it, when sales are at stake, the system become corrupt. The same applies to everything else. Amazon has yet to crack the problem, but from where I stand, most of the reviews on Amazon are not a true reflection of a book’s quality, only of a political agenda.

The Drop by Michael Connelly: Likeable Plank Investigates a Suicide and an Undetected Serial Killer

This, my first encounter with a Connelly book, the prose felt overwhelmingly male. How fitting the detective, Bosch would be a namesake to powertools – as upright as a plank, but likeable all the same.

Double Plot

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A double helix of a plot begins with an apparent cockup in the DNA department when a match is found between blood on an old murder victim and a suspect (Clayton Pell), only Pell would only have been eight at the time. Bosch’s nose starts twitching and he will not let up until he finds the answer to this riddle.

To Catch a Serial Killer

The plot gets complicated when old adversary, Councilman Irving asks Bosch to look into an apparent suicide of his son, found at the foot of a plush hotel. Bosch encounters corruption in high places, only those that pull the strings are being manipulated themselves. The story really takes momentum when Bosch rattles Irving’s cage, bringing about a showdown during a press conference. 

But during all of this, a serial killer is sneaking beneath the radar, leaving a covert trail of blood three decades long. Things don’t go to plan with Pell and things almost go pear-shaped after Bosch’s partner Chu makes a mistake. Well, it is all very ‘high jingo.’. Bosch’s planky nature comes out when he does not forgive easily. He is also a little stilted with his daughter, whom he doesn’t spend much time with.

Connelly doesn’t go into detail of the serial killer’s horrors but he does so with food and navigational directions. Some might have seen the twist at the end, but I didn’t. A twisty turny plot that I enjoyed.

Bad Book Covers, So Bad, They’re Good, but Some are Simply Crap

Crap book cover designs don’t necessarily dent the author’s sales as I had thought. They in fact attract attention. In this case, mine. Some are so bad, they are great. Find my choice selection of poor book cover designs.

PRE POLITICALLY CORRECT BOOK COVERS

Beethoven and Harpo have horrible secrets and so does the sexy daddy who is also a good lover. Never knew Baden-Powell felt that way, nor Tarzan about Cheetah. Anything with Savile’s face is abhorrent, and who will toss my salad?

BAD ARTWORK ON BOOK COVERS

Wobbly airbrush, dodgy compositions, figures look like taxidermist models or plastic Ken and Barbies. In the case, of Steez big red letters plonked over the redhead’s face. Stallion males have weird abs, cartoonish crabs and octopi instil wonder rather than fear and what is that face on fire?

DIVINE BOOKS NOT DIVINE IN COVER DESIGN

Questions arise, what is beneath the Mantle? Mother Theresa would be horrified and BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and...oh, forget to switch off CAPS. But learning some Jesus moves could help the retarded know God. Peek-a-boo, Jesus!

ANYTHING WITH WEREWOLVES AND TORSOS

What is it about Werewolves and torsos? All aesthetic go out of the window when the two are put together. The Final Harvest of the Werewolf is...oh dear. I’m sorry, but a Mate for the Wolf could mean man and...er beast. Watch out for those fangs!  What’s the deal with the freaky tattoo on the man’s back? And the hairy freak in Onio?

CHRONICLES OF THE BAD BOY BOSS BILLIONAIRE WITH A HUGE TORSOS AND GIGANTIC ABS

Look out for words like paranormal romance, shapeshifter, billionaire romance (or millionaire romance for the working class), saga collection, chronicles book one, or two or thirteen, or series book one (or thirteen), with words including blood, dragons, vampires, the Boss, bad boy, alpha male, bondage, pictures of moons, BBW (is that a typo for BMW? And other such acronyms), witches, aliens and arse clamps. Book cover design is incidental to what awaits within! By the way, is that Ryan Giggs on the top right?

The bigger the abs, the better.

CHEESY ROMANTIC BOOK COVER DESIGNS

I’d run a mile if I saw that ripped-shirted male beckoning to me with a bunch of flowers. ‘Oh, come to me, my fair one!’ The BBW and the Space Lord. It’s that BMW typo again, only with magnificent pecks! Showroom dummy figures, tormented virgins, and Fabio. Oh, let them eat cake!

DON'T THINK THEY MEANT THAT

According to the cover, who cares about the disabled? And yes, being awesome takes practice! And a woman that seemed progressive for the age tells us, ‘always ask a man!’ Watch out for that inappropriately placed cowboy’s log...Oh, do I have to go on? Let the covers speak for themselves!

BAD PHOTOSHOP SKILLS

Simply so bad, I love 'em. What can I say?

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis: A Void Lies at the End of the Rainbow for Yuppie Psychopath

Bateman, a Wall Street yuppie, intelligent, handsome and emotionally derelict, is on a disturbing journey into psychosis.

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The story begins when Bateman blithely declares that his secretary and other women in his life are in love with him. In reality, he sees them as mere ‘hardbodies’ falling to the feet of his cloying charms. But his admirers remain oblivious to this hollow man, preoccupied with their own aspirations.

Yuppie Eighties Values Gone Wrong

Bateman is obsessed with vanity and worldly possessions. His pad is clinical, shiny and modern, where the simple sentiment of a sunset or a flower has no place. His religion is his platinum credit card and he fantasizes about smashing the faces of anyone who dares to outdo him in acquisitions.

We learn of his music tastes; Whitney Houston, Huey Lewis & the News and Genesis, intimately assessed. Yet there is no feeling in his appraisals. He seems unaware of how music can connect with mood, only of hard facts. The hairs on the back of his neck are untweakable.

His friends are equally soulless, dining only where to be seen and drinking the fashionable mineral water. Everyone is good looking, fashionable and aspiring. But all of it is empty.

Mind of a Psychopath

And this, it seems, is the point. Contrasting with this sickly perfection is Bateman’s inner thoughts, ugly and blackly comical. He slaughters a Japanese cook, bloodying a fortune cookie in the process. He bequeaths Evelyn, his long-time girlfriend, the cookie, claiming the sticky red substance is sweet and sour sauce. Equally blind to Bateman’s inner ugliness is Carruthers, a work colleague, infatuated to the point of clinging onto Bateman’s ankles like an overgrown toddler in Barney’s a public bar.

Meanwhile, Bateman is slaying tramps, prostitutes and work colleagues that no one notices have gone missing. Bateman grows paranoid that someone else is parading around pretending to be him. Could it be that Bateman’s identity is disintegrating as his slayings grow ever more frantic? I found myself wishing something would break the spell, as the endless gristle, eyeballs, privates and throats take a severing. The reading was at times gruesome.

Bateman’s girlfriend, Evelyn should have been the ideal bait, being gullible, naive and ditzy, yet these qualities seemed to be the saving of her.

The final part of the book became like a club to the head, Bateman’s fantasies repeating like acid reflux and I was no longer sure of what was real. Did the murders actually happen, or did they remain the fantasies of Bateman’s deranged mind?

Bateman could have been the black hole at the centre of the eighties Yuppie ideology. A disturbing glimpse into what is feels to confuse contentment with cold-hearted greed.

The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins: An Intricate Case of Science Versus Religion

Dawkins’ long and in depth book is really about how the existence of God stands up against science, or in other words, rationalization against the supernatural.

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He begins by stating that a rational discussion is thwarted by a fear of stepping on the toes of religion. Violence and drug-taking is also made excusable when under the guise of religion. Unlike nature and science theories, religion does not evolve. It has special privileges. And according to Dawkins, is the trouble with religion.

Is America is more Religious than England?

Dawkins asks why some races are more religious than others. He examines the case of America, who are on the whole more religious than England and suggests this might be because modern America is borne from immigrants seeking comfort after being uprooted from their homeland.

This could be further argued in the case of children who are prone to ‘dualism’, a ‘parent’ complex, almost like having a familiar. A consoling voice in the head makes us feel we are not alone. Perhaps this belief clings into adulthood, creating a lifelong faith that offers spiritual solace.

Dawkins introduces the concept of ‘NOMA’ a non-overlapping magisteria, where science and religion cannot encroach. If one overlaps the other, religion can no longer exist. This can be seen in the power of prayer. If a group of candidates were asked to pray for a subject and the other not to pray, a paradox results. According to clerics, prayer is about faith, not science, (unless the experiment proves that prayer works). But if the experiment proves that prayer has no effect upon the outcome, it could be argued that religion is about faith, not hard proof.

Writers of  the Scriptures

This obscurity can also be seen in the Scriptures, authored by various scribes with various political agendas, long after the time of Jesus. Some of it is illogical. An Old Testament prophecy states ‘the Messiah will be born from David’. This is not strictly true, as Jesus is born from a virgin (Joseph’s ancestry becomes immaterial) Personally, I still see Joseph as Jesus’ father, if not in body, but in mind and emotionally.

But what about God’s great design? Well, Dawkins states that small incremental improvements over millennia are the true designer of nature. Darwinian evolution is about survival of the fittest and the most successful in procreation.

This book is quite complex and is not an easy read. The arguments are quite simple, but are put in convoluted phrases, via such obscure words as prestidigitation and tergiversation, that may not be found in the regular dictionary. Still, I could glean their meanings in context of the sentence.

Making the God Delusion more Readable

As the argument for and against God concerns us all, I felt that Dawkins’ book could have been made more inclusive for various reading abilities. I also thought that each chapter could have been summarized via bullet points to make the reading easier to digest.

In the end, I felt the book was more about the logic of kindness and humaneness against blind faith. After all, tribes of peace-loving gods often out-survive tribes of warring gods. Kindness can be differentiated from religion.

Clerics may dislike this book, but anyone willing to argue against Dawkins’ theory would do best to read and understand the book fully first.

The Humans by Matt Haig: Alien Entity Ruled by Logic Thrown into the Human Experience

Don’t be misled by the blurb, this unusual tale is not science fiction, but poses the question of being human. An alien known as a Vonnagon invades the body of brilliant mathematician Andrew Martin to avert the spread of his breakthrough in the Riemann Hypothesis.

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This solution to the puzzle of how prime numbers are sequenced could be disastrous for the alien race as well as the Cosmos as a whole. So the alien has been assigned to kill anyone who knows the answer.

What it Feels Like to be Human

But really, this is a novel about what it feels like to be human from an alien perspective. The alien, (now known as Andrew) starts to feel what humans feel as he gets to know Andrew’s family. This is an unusual and sensitively written book on how an advanced alien as this Vonnagon could be caught in a paradox of logic and being human.

The narrative style is at times stilted, like that written by an adolescent boy. I imagined Andrew to be like Data from Star Trek that has been pushed into a human body. For him, the experience is overwhelming and confusing and articulation of this experience is difficult. Hormones, food cravings, mortality and hangovers cannot cohabit logic. The only way to resolve everything is to read poetry and to love.

Advice for a Human

The opening scene describes Andrew’s first experience of earth as he walks naked down a street. People think this brilliant mathematician has simply suffered a mental breakdown. When spat at for the offence of public nakedness, Andrew spits back, thinking this is an earth greeting. Andrew also gets disastrously wrong infidelity and teenage suicide, but also right in a naive way.

The chapter ‘Advice for a Human’ is worth reading twice for these almost childish points. They would seem obvious, only they aren’t when living continuously within the human organism. Living in human skin is like not seeing the wood for the trees.

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn: What it is Like to be Duped? Read this Thriller to Find Out

A well crafted thriller that plays little tricks with the reader. But the manipulation really lies in the reader’s oblivion to this fact until halfway through the story.

Nick has been accused of foul play after his wife, Amy goes missing. All clues would appear to lead to an eventual discovery of a body, but no body is found. This confounds the police, particularly Boney who can read situations beyond what is apparent. Something doesn’t add up.

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Diary of a Psychopath

Alternating chapters tells Amy’s story via a secret diary up to the point of her disappearance. Nick apparently has been an unpleasant husband, spending all her money and growing more moody and selfish. The final straw is when Amy discovers Nick is having an affair with the local bimbo.

It would seem Amy had sacrificed her life as a writer and her friends in New York to live in the Deep South where she grows increasingly isolated and disillusioned. The story really drew me in and I enjoyed Flynn’s eloquent writing which underlined the sort of person Amy is. My feelings towards certain characters in the thriller took a 180 degree swing, not only regarding Nick and Amy, but also her ex boyfriend, Desi.

Duping the Reader

I did feel some unnecessary padding towards the final third of the book, where Amy loses money to a couple of tramps, and the ending was slightly unsatisfying, but did not detract from the entertainment value. But in the end, Flynn was making a point. Be careful of who you meet. Not everyone is what they appear to be. Some people make an art of duping. Lies can be wrapped in truth. But the nature of the narcissist will always come out in time.